when growing up i used to think of myself as a feminist,then when i became  a christian a lot changed. well i had my eyes opened to a lot of things every now and then before i became born again but i just chose to play dumb and be stubborn..

A lot has changed now, i am a changed woman and look at things  from a totally different angle. I hope you enjoy the following article, i wrote it a while back:

LEVELS OF RESPECT A WOMAN CAN EARN.

I have emphasized so many times before that women should stop demanding respect and earn the respect. I have however got to realize that even when we do earn the respect, the respect is not the same all across different women. It differs and I have paid attention enough to categorize the levels of respect that are there, earned by different types of women. classification or categorizing of the respect levels is not meant to demean any woman, but rather it is to help them to really get to notice that some of us ask for something we are really not worthy of and it is to help us in knowing how to really EARN that respect we want. These levels are like phases, one can graduate from one level to another and that is a very good sign of growth within a sister/ a woman.

 Below is my theory, I call the levels “respect badges”

 SILVER BADGE RESPECT (BEING A WOMAN): this is the lowest level of respect a woman can earn really. This is the kind of respect that a woman get just because she is a woman. Although this seems to go unnoticed by most women, truth is the world respects us simply for our being women. We are viewed as strong because of the terrible things we go through in life and yet still manage to smile and walk about as if all is good. We are respected for the being able to carry another human being in us for nine months, for raising the young child into a fully grown man/ woman, for the monthly menstrual pains we endure and still try to look pretty. For the much effort we go through trying to look pretty for men who do not always notice we did something new to our hair.

 However there are women who are infertile, who have never had their menstruation. These women suffer because they often have people looking down upon them, they too sometimes feel less of women, and they are not respected as women all because they failed to meet the expectations of womanhood. These woman often turn into tomboys from early ages because they feel without certain womanly experiences they might as well be considered men. Then there are those women who either aborted or gave up their children to adoption, these women are considered to have not fulfilled what makes them women: motherhood! And they too are less respected.

Motherhood has been used to define womanhood by society both consciously and unconsciously and women too have made is the highlight of their womanhood. So this level of respect most of the time is based upon the motherhood experience, all mothers are respected. But all in all, all women are respected simply for being women.

BRONZE BADGE RESPECT (AGED WOMEN): I once wrote a piece called “made women and aged women” ,this piece said that there are two types of women in this world. There are women who are called women because of their age and those called women because of who they are, the things they had to go through an how they handle themselves through different situations.

Aged women are really young girls/ladies who have out-matured their age. They think like fully grown women an can tackle issues like fully grown women or sometimes even better than the older women. Most of the times these girls were forced into early maturity either by the upbringing of parents or by being surrendered to early parenthood. Some parents can raise their children in a way that they are taught responsibility at a young age and this helps them blossom into maturity too early. These women are respected by the society and they often are included in the decision making of adults, their opinion is valued a lot. However there are those who are subjected to early parenthood either by teenage pregnancy or by loss of parents leading them to having to fend for themselves and their siblings. In this situations there are two ways of fending for oneself available, it could be the “immoral way” where the young girl may give into dependence upon men or any other way considered immoral like selling drugs or prostitution and then there is “the honest way” where the young girl uses more morally upright ways to fend for herself like finding a job. The last girl is respected more than the first.

GOLD BADGE (INDEPENDENCE): This level is very common and drives a lot of women. Most of the time it makes women hotheads though and women are encouraged to be independent a lot. These are women who worked hard to make it in life, who started from nothing without anybody’s help (without a man’s help to be more precise) and worked till they made it to the top. These women are very much respected in society, they were our inspiration when we were growing up. The CEOs, the politicians, the lawyers, basically every woman holding prominent positions in different industries or are of high social status, these women are considered the pride of womanhood.

I love these women but I am concerned about how far they take the concept of independence as women. They often think they do not need men simply because a man is thought of as a provider and since they can provide for themselves they think they got it all under control. The truth is if we could do without men we would not be forced to co-exist with them on earth, we could never be independent to that extent. I for one want to have a loving husband to look forward to when I come back from a long day of closing big deals and hosting international conferences, I want him to be proud of me and support him as much as I would support him too.

PLATINUM BADGE (WOMAN OF VIRTUE): Now these right here are my women! These women are the complete packages. These women are what the society calls the wifey material. These women are an inspiration to every kind of woman I have mentioned above, an inspiration to me. These are women who value womanhood, who want have to have kids and get married, who are willing to work not only for themselves but for their families. These are women who would always pray for their husband’s prosperity and truly support them from their lowest points to their highest. These are the women people would be talking about when they say that behind every successful men is a devoted woman. These women are the type that want to uplift fellow sisters, the type that would love their neighbor’s kid as if their own and that would host strangers in her house and make them feel at home. These women care about their man’s reputation and protect the reputation with all their might. Alone they can survive but they still appreciate their men as heads of the family. These are the society’s problem solvers, not the nagging wives.

I am working hard and praying hard every day to be this kind of a woman. I honestly do not want a man in my life until I am this woman, like I mentioned before, I want my husband to be proud of me.